God Shapes Me Through Child Training

Kindness, Gentleness, Obedience, Self-Control, Not Complaining or Disputing, Giving a Soft Answer...
We are in the thick of training our children to practice these qualities. Big Brother pushes Little Sister, Little Sister screams at Big Brother, Big Brother chooses to disobey Mama, the list goes on. In the middle of the pushing, screaming, and the "No Mama"s, the training is pretty much constant. But many times it's when I'm training on self-control that I wonder where my own is hiding. When I'm teaching on not complaining, it's just after I think to myself, Child, you're driving me crazy! I train on kindness when I'm frustrated that Little Sister is screaming for a toy and snatching it from Big Brother's grasp, on gentleness when I'm storming into the room explaining why we CANNOT KEEP PUSHING HER, on giving a soft answer when my own words are harsh. And, let's face it, each time I sin in these ways, I'm being completely disobedient. Each and every day as I train my children, the Lord is training  and sanctifying me.
So why is it so difficult some days? Why do I become weary in doing good? Why are there nights that my head hits the pillow as I thinking: Did I spend more time enjoying my children today or being annoyed by them? Did they enjoy me? And it makes me sad that I even have to wonder.
It's times like those when I need to step back and evaluate my own motives. Do I desire obedient children for my own ease, or for God's glory? Do I want them to stop screaming in anger and pushing so I can just "get something done for once," or because in that anger they are sinning against a holy God? I must admit that at times, my motives are quite self-centered, thus my reactions lack self-control.
One thing that has helped me recently is to ask myself (when the screaming or pushing or "No, Mama" comes)-- What better thing do I have to do right now than this training in this moment? It's a pretty basic question, but it helps me to focus on what is really important. Because really, is there any more profitable work for me to do today than to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, than to have yet another beautiful reason to point them to his grace and mercy, than to show my love for them and the Savior by my self-control, kindness, gentleness, soft answer, and obedience to God's word. The answer is...No. The laundry and dishes will not miss out if I push them aside as I lovingly train my children, but my children will miss out if I push their training aside in favor of cleaning the house.
So I press on in the trenches of child training, re-prioritizing, and purposing, by God's grace, to enjoy my children every day, and I hope you will, too.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9

Jessica

I Am A...Guardian

Ditching the Dish and Directing TV in Our Home

In Titus 2:5 Paul admonishes women to be "keepers at home." I have found that the word "keeper" in this passage comes from the Greek word "oikouros." "Oikouros" is a compound word derived from the words "oikos" meaning home, household, family, and "ouros" meaning guard, guardian, watcher. This gives me a fuller understanding of all that it means to be a keeper of the home. I am not only to work at home, being a homemaker; I am also to be my family's guardian, standing as a tightly woven sieve, filtering through all that enters my home.

As a mother, I am with my child (soon to be children) nearly every hour of the day. Since I am a mother to little ones, it is quite simple to guard them from most negative outside influences. I choose where they go, who watches them and when, and I am able to screen what comes into the home. However, one way that negative and unbiblical influences can seep in without notice is through television...yes even those "sweet, harmless" children's shows.

In our home, TV is already a minimal part of our day. And I realize that in many homes the TV becomes little more than a humdrum of background noise. But even then, I believe our children pick up on many negatives that shows (and commercials) have to offer. When sassy, disrespectful tones, boisterous women exposing too much skin, and men playing the part of the fool become part of what is poured into our children's minds and hearts throughout the day, how can we expect these thoughts, words, and actions not to spring forth out of them?
For the past two years our family has used satellite TV. And while there are some clean, educational shows the channels have to offer, it is difficult to constantly sift through them, allowing what is edifying and purging what is not. As my husband and I discussed the use of television in our home, we realized that as our children grow older, it would only become more difficult to monitor the shows and content to which they were being exposed.

I also know my weakness to sit down after lunch and enjoy an hour (or more, I hate to admit) of "A Baby Story" and similar shows. This clearly distracts me from being diligent to complete tasks around the house and robs me of time I could have used more wisely. Along with that is the temptation to be drawn into a show that is anything but biblical and uplifting as I scan through the channels.

Because of these and other reasons, my husband and I decided to do something radical...Well, by today's standards, at least! We decided to get rid of our satellite TV service! Shocking, I know! :) And may I say that I am actually excited! The temptation to waste time in front of the television will basically be removed. Staring at a screen will no longer be considered "spending time together" or "family time." I will be kindly forced to creatively set up ways to keep my children involved while I'm busy about the laundry or cooking, which will be much better for them in the long run. Yes, I am very excited indeed!

We may invest in Netflix or Redbox, or something of the like. This will allow us to more closely monitor what is coming into our home, and thus, our minds. This will also give our children opportunities to practice self-control with regards to what they choose to watch as they grow older. (Which is much more easily done while choosing a movie through these methods rather than stumbling across a show which entices the flesh and then having to resist.) Another tool we plan on taking advantage of is Plugged In Online. On this website, we can look up and teach our children (at older ages) to look up a Christian review of many movies before even renting them.

Hopefully this transition will go smoothly. I should probably prepare myself for some withdrawal symptoms from not seeing "A Baby Story" and possibly some balking from my hubby during the World Series and NFL Playoffs! Overall my husband and I are ready to ditch the Dish and really start directing our TV.

How about you? What are methods you use to guard your family from negative television influences?

Jessica

Who Am I?

In the back of my December 2011 issue of Above Rubies, I saw an advertisement for a Nancy Campbell teaching DVD titled "Who Am I?" The answer to the proposed question fascinated me as I thought of the many responsibilities and blessings that encompass my title of "Stay at Home Mom."

"I am a....

Nurturer

Life-giver

Leader

Generation Builder

Manager of my Home

Feeder

Educator

Teacher

Child Trainer

Discipler

Guardian

Flourishing Vine"

...and may I add...

Help Meet

I love this list! It makes me take a step back and realize how important my role truly is. It also makes me question: Am I doing all that I can to fulfill each of these aspects of motherhood?

Over the next several weeks I will try to post about each of these biblical traits.

New Home and New Baby (Preparation Phase)

Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach today, as the realization of buying our new house is sinking in! We have had a wonderful 6 months living with my family, but my husband and I are so excited to return to a domain of our own and to transform a new house into a delightful home for our growing family!

The home is beautiful and move-in ready, but I love adding a little personal touch, so in just a few short weeks we'll be painting. I love putting soft, bright colors on the walls and watching a room transform! But, this time, I suppose, I'll have to remove myself from the fumes, leave the painting up to my family and friends and just enjoy the end result. These are my doctor's orders and I'm sure our sweet little bundle of joy will be greatful!

And speaking of that sweet little bundle, I'm getting all of my thoughts together for her bedroom. I purchased a lovely cottage chic bedding set, found a small vintage lamp in my in-laws' basement that will be a perfect match, and am gathering many other ideas on Pinterest! There is just something so creatively exhillerating about decorating a room for a daughter. Now, that's not to say I'm not excited about Levi's Big-Boy Room! The airplane theme is in the works. I was inspired by the (somewhat large) model airplane my husband built when he was younger. It's red and white and will be hanging from the ceiling. Levi's new, handed-down twin bed will be painted red for a punch of color and will be complete with vintage airplane sheets that his nana found on sale at a discount store. I am getting so antsy about decorating not only the children's rooms, but the entire house, including creating a haven of delight in our master bedroom! (I feel like my nesting urges are kicking in early!)

I'm overjoyed to be a mommy to a baby girl (Lyla, due May 1) and a baby boy (Levi, who will be about 17 months old at the arrival of his sister)! This pregnancy is passing by very quickly, so I'm already trying to prepare myself for the crazy/sweet first few weeks with a newborn.

This time, since I'll also be caring for Levi, I know I'll have to be very diligent to stay organized. I've created a ten week menu plan, complete with a grocery list that corresponds to each week's menu plan recipes. (I'm hoping to post more on this menu plan later.) Each week I have included a meal to freeze, in hopes that I will have stocked a little over a week's worth of meals by the time Lyla arrives. Also, by contiuing to freeze meals weekly, I'll have a back up for those future days with two littles, that are just too hectic for cooking.

One more thing I'm trying investigate: Ways to keep my 17 month old entertained while nursing my newborn...especially for those first couple of weeks when nursing sessions tend to last longer. I would appreciate ANY tips you have! What has worked in your experience?

Jessica

Lord of All

This week has been a reminder that the God I serve really is Lord of All. I am humbled daily that the King of Kings chooses to bless me...me, an undeserving servant with gifts greater than I could ever imagine.

Wonderful Blessing #1: Three weeks ago, my hubby put our house up for sale by listing it on a website. He is quite the visionary and keeps me ready and waiting for new adventures. Neither one of us thought that it would get much interest, much less an offer. However, yesterday, we officially sold our sweet, red farmhouse. It took a mere three weeks from listing to closing for this process to be completed. What's more, the profit we were blessed to receive will be most helpful in putting a down payment on our home-to-be, wherever that home-to-be may be. We are so excited to see where the Lord takes us from here and what he has in store. I am so abundantly thankful to my amazing husband for following the prompting of the wonderful Counselor, and I pray that we are sensitive to his timing as we search for our next residence.

Wonderful Blessing #2: My parents have graciously opened their home to us for an undetermined amount of time while we house/land hunt. This week we will be moving in, which will be like a trip down memory lane, because we are staying in the room my sister and I used to share. My sister has moved from her room into what used to be the office/homeschool room, and the office moved to what used to be the dining room. Everyone has been so accommodating and hospitable through this transition. We are happy to be together and (Mom and I especially) are excited to be refining our creative homemaking skills together...(sewing projects, experimental bread and cinnamon roll recipes, and the like) We like to think of our soon-to-be full house as an "Incubator for Sanctification." And a full house it will be: My sister, who is commuting to a nearby college, by brothers, who are both homeschooled, my mom (Nana), my dad (Poppy), my loving husband, and our baby boy, who is nine months old...Which brings me to...

Wonderful Blessing #3: Just a few short hours before we closed on our house, I was surprised and overjoyed to find that the Lord is blessing us with another gift, a precious baby, due in late April. The joy that fills my heart is indescribable! I had this wonderful plan to tell my husband in a cute, creative way (which I had to come up with quickly on my own, because the ideas I looked up on the Internet were not so creative.) I left the house and headed for a card store where I bought a Daddy-to-be card. I put it in the envelope and wrote our address on the front, with a made up return address (in handwriting that looked nothing like my own)and headed home to stick it in the mailbox for him to find when he got home. That's when he called me, wondering where I was...Yes, he had beaten me to the house. Shortly after I hung up the phone, I remembered that I had left the pregnancy test in the bathroom! I called back, trying to think of a way to keep him out of the bathroom until I got home. Ring, Ring, "Hi, Honey. Do you have something you want to tell me???" my husband questioned. "Ummmmm, like what?" I replied, trying to hold in the news that was about to burst at the seams. "Honnnneyyyy..." Yep, again I was too late! But all I could do was giggle like a little school girl! Hubby asked, " Are you being serious or are you joking?" I told him I was serious and that there is no way (that I'm aware of)to fake a pregnancy test. I also told him that I had just called to keep him away from the bathroom and away from that pregnancy test. When I arrived at home, I still gave Hubby the card and he gave me a sweet hug and two kisses (one for me and one for the baby) When the surprise of it all had worn off a bit, Hubby told me that it wasn't the pregnancy test that he found. He opened the computer to check an email from the realtor and what popped up but a web page that said "Creative Ways to Tell your Husband You're Pregnant." Oops! I guess this was as creative a way as any...or at least as surprising! Needless to say, I will do a better job of covering my tracks next time! :) But any faint disappointment I may have had from my plan being for naught, was swept away with the elation we are feeling!

So there you have it, three wonderful blessings packed into three wonderful days. A brilliant husband who loves me fully and introduces me to new adventures, a sweet baby boy to love and to train, a gracious family who is a great example of hospitality, and a chance to live out the faith I have in the One who writes my days, not knowing what is written in the next chapter, or even on the next page. I am so grateful to my God for providing, and even going above and beyond what I need. Yes, my God is a magnificent Savior, Redeemer, King of Kings, and Lord of All.

Jessica

Oh the Delights of a Family Roadtrip!

Six hours. Six people. One minivan. We are spending the first day of our holiday weekend in this incubator for sanctification. Skies are blue and the sun is illuminating the mountaintop trees as we cross the Tennessee line on our trek to the Smoky Mountains. Soon we will arrive at Smoky Mountain Christian Village, greeted by a woodsy lodge and a sweetly missed sister. Adventure and relaxation await and many memories are ready to be made. Oh the delights of a family Roadtrip!

Kristina and Jessica (from the backseat)

The Heart Revealed

"...for out the the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." -Matthew 12:34

“It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it;

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

"Come here!" I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here”, I said –

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art –

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words –

Keep it out of your voice.”

~Author Unknown

An Honorable Task

Sunlight filters through the window. As I peer out with sleepy eyes, I find glistening dew at the end of long shadows cast across summer grass. This new day is covered with the fingerprints of our magnificent Creator. His continued blessings rise with the sun this morning. Today school begins. The promise of learning is untied as the scroll of loosely structured days filled with wisdom and knowledge starts to unfold.

There is an element of excitement in the predictability of it all. The smell of new books will fill the air. Pencils will leave their mark on fresh pages. Blankets will cover a patch of grass where stories and poems will be read.

Of all the knowledge gained in math and science and history and art, I pray that I put the greatest emphasis on the One from whom true knowledge comes. We take no credit in our intellectual ability, yet how easily pride seeps into the heart. The intricacies of this world are profound, but how easily our wonderment wanes.

If I teach my children to see God's handiwork in every aspect of their lives, they have the tools to truly succeed. If they use their academic skills to glorify their Maker, their lives will have direction and purpose. My highest calling is to lead my children to Him with a pure heart. Only God can equip me for such an honorable task.

"Boast no more so very proudly, do not let arrogance come out of your mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and with Him actions are weighed." 1 Samuel 2:3

Blackberry Summer

"And God said, 'See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food.'"

~Genesis 1:29

How sweet to truly "taste and see that the Lord is good!" And furthermore, to have the opportunity in your own backyard! Each year our property brings forth an abundance of berries, and not just any berry-- blackberries. The richness they supply in both color and flavor is a testament to the supreme artistry of the Creator.

The delightful berries!

My mom, sister, and I travelled about the property seeking out our delicious little morsels. And boy did we find them! With the help of our blackberry-loving dog, Josie (who trotted ahead of us to the next patch of ripe blackberries), we were able to end victorious with a full bucket.

Me, Brittney, just beginning to pick.

Now, picking blackberries is a careful kind of business. One must be ever so gentle in the retrieval. If grabbed too tightly, the ripened berries may turn to mush. If grabbed too hastily, one is almost sure to be stuck by a thorn.

Mom, picking a delicious, ripe blackberry.

The summer sun was warm on our backs and the sweet symphony of nature was like a warm plate of cobbler: sweet to the senses and soothing to the soul. The vast blue sky was like glassy waters. It was as if one could be immersed in its refreshing clarity. For a short moment it was as if time stood still; as if the world had been stilled in its motion and it was just...us. Just this moment in the flourish of God's creation. O, how deep the Father's love for us!

Jessica, holding our bucket-full at the end of the picking spree.

We continued our trek along the winding path, seeking shade at every opportunity. After much seeking, finding, and picking we returned to the house to begin the tastier part of our journey :)



Bringing the berries, sugar, and fruit pectin to a boil.


Jessica and I cooked down the berries on the stove until they reached a more tender, juicy state. (On more than one occasion we had to stop ourselves from premature taste-tests.) Then we transferred the berries to a big pot and invited sugar and fruit pectin to the party. After the delicious concoction arrived at a boil...

Filling up our jam jars.

We poured them into the previously boiled jars. It looked so good!!! This part resulted in a slightly sticky mess.

Sealing the lids.

After screwing on the lids, we boiled the jars with the jam in them to help the lids seal. Again, we needed a big pot.

Scrumptious blackberry jam!

And...voila! Blackberry jam! (Which was quite delectable if I do say so myself)

On this day, many memories were made that cannot be captured in a picture or paragraph. The three of us-my sister, my mother, and I- have our very own snapshots and recollections of that special day.

Psalm 23:6 says, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

The day of the blackberries was one of absolute goodness and mercy. There was goodness in the sweet time we were able to spend together. There was goodness in the love that was shared that day. There was goodness in the bond that was strengthened among the three of us. But most of all, there was mercy. Mercy in all that God allowed that day: a time of fellowship, a time of laughter, but above all, a time to simply feel the immeasurable wave of blessings that the good Lord showers upon us every day. Oh, that every day would feel like a blackberry summer.

~Brittney

Every Wife's First Duty

"That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." -Titus 2:4-5

"In one of his Epistles St. Paul gives the counsel that young wives should be 'workers at home,' signifying that home is the sphere of the wife's duties, and that she is to find her chief work there.

There is widest opportunity in the most fitting service for every woman whose heart God has touched to be a ministering angel to those who need sympathy or help. There are many who are free to serve in public charities, in caring for the poor, for the sick..., for the orphaned and the aged...

But it should be understood that for every wife the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home. Her first and best work should be done there, and till it is well done she has no right to go outside to take up other duties. She is to be a 'worker at home.' She must look upon her home as the one spot on earth for which she alone is responsible and which she must cultivate well for God if she never does anything outside. For her the Father's business is not attending... missionary meetings, and mothers' meetings, ...or even teaching a Sunday-school class, until she has made her own home all that her wisest thought and best skill can make it. There have been wives who in their zeal for Christ's work outside have neglected Christ's work inside their own doors. They have had eyes and hearts for human need and human sorrow in the broad fields lying far out, but neither eye nor heart for the work of love lain about their own feet. The result has been...that while they were winning a place in the hearts of the poor or the sick or the orphan, they were losing their rightful place in the hearts of their own household. Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that He gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there." -JR Miller

After I read this passage in JR Miller's THE FAMILY, I was overwhelmed, to be honest. It caused me to reevaluate myself and my definition of "a keeper at home." You see, being a keeper at home is more than just keeping a good house, as the Message translation would have us believe. Are clean floors and tidy rooms a part of the equation? Of course. But being a keeper of the home is so much more that that. It is serving my husband, promoting peaceful attitudes, making sure that every facet of my family's living is cared for. It is guarding with a tightly woven filter all that enters the door. It is turning my home, in every aspect, into an atmosphere where Christ's love is expressed to the extent that His aroma spills through every crack and crevice of my home.

To accomplish these tasks and be a "keeper at home," I must first and foremost be at home. If God said that my life's work was to create for Him a beautiful painting, would I only work on it in the evenings after I came home from my "real" job, or on the weekends when my schedule was not so busy? Would I place my painting in another's hands, trusting that they could fulfill God's desire for me to complete it? Of course not! I would pour every ounce of my being into that painting. If the skill did not come easily to me, I would study and practice. I would be ever searching the painting for some flaw to correct, some detail to make it all the more beautiful. I would never stop trying to perfect the painting I was making for my King; it would be my life's work.

But God, in His infinite wisdom did not create me to be a painter, He created my to be a keeper at home. I realize that I cannot realistically spend every waking hour within the walls of my house, but I also realize that I must commit the majority (the first and best) of my time, thought, energy, skill and work to my home and the family therein.

Keeping my home is at the core of my being. How could it not be when it is the first work the Lord gives to every wife? If I forsake my duty as a homemaker by committing my first and best to other noble works, I forsake the very path that the Creator has purposefully lain before my feet. If I forsake my duty as a keeper at home, I blaspheme the word of God. May we all strive to give our first and best to the work God has given us to accomplish.