It happened last week. Two of my children brought a large floor puzzle downstairs and wanted Mommy's help putting it together. We began the process, finding corner pieces and edge pieces, and began to construct the puzzle. All was going well until Little Lady's knees started getting too close to our creation. Each time she would put pressure on an edge, the entire puzzle would shift and
we I would put it all back together. Finally I told her, "If you aren't more careful with your knees, you may
not do the puzzle with Mommy." Then I paused long enough to think to myself,
why?
Why does it matter that her sweet, eager knees are causing a few extra seconds of puzzle play? What better work does the Lord have prepared for me today than this? Sure, doing and redoing the same pieces of a 30 piece puzzle was quite boring to me, but for my children it was a joyful time. They were learning, and not only about spatial awareness and problem solving, but about working together, helping one another,
considering the other before themselves. Indeed, I was teaching them, at that very second, and not so well, I might add. Just as I had, minutes before, instructed two siblings, squabbling over who's turn it was to choose the next piece of the puzzle, to consider the other before themselves, so, too, was the Lord instructing (and convicting) me. It hit me that the time and effort invested in training my children in this biblical principal, was all the more needed to train my own heart. I was putting my desires first- my desire to be done with this silly puzzle and do something more exciting. I wanted to please myself and my attitude revealed selfishness bound up in my heart.
Since that day, the Lord has been faithfully showing just how much I put myself first.
"Mommy, I'm awake."
Oh, but I want to sleep.
"Mommy, lets race dirt bikes."
Oh, but I just sat down.
"Mommy, can we do a craft?"
Oh, the mess to clean up.
"Mommy, let's cook!"
Oh, the dishes to wash and the floor to mop.
"Mommy, she hit me in the head!"
Oh, I don't want to deal with disciplining right now.
"Mommy," (I know we just sat down to dinner, but) "I have to go potty."
Oh, will I ever eat a warm meal again?
The selfishness in my heart reveals itself everywhere! I find myself frequently asking the question:
But what better thing do I have to do than this work, at this moment? I was not given these three gifts, just so I could spend my days pleasing myself. No, I am to spend my days glorifying God, following His commands. On a day in, day out basis, much of my obedience (or disobedience) to the Lord will be shown through my response to my children. I want to be intentional in my responses, in my giving of myself for their training, in relinquishing my own desires in the name of loving my children and my God. I pray that by God's grace I will put off my selfishness as I put on selflessness. May my heart not merely reflect the depravity of the fall, but may it reflect the fruits of the Spirit that live therein.
