"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
I don't know of a married, Christian woman whose heart doesn't desire to build up a godly marriage. So before we go any further, we must begin with this most crucial aspect of our marriage: Delight yourself in the LORD. In order for us to even have the appropriate desires for our marriage, much less the capability to fulfill those desires, we must first delight in the LORD and His word.
When we truly delight in someone, we don't just keep them in the back of our mind, thinking only occasionally about what may be pleasing to that someone. We don't go about our day, planning whatever may strike our fancy without a thought as to what our "someone" may have in mind. And we don't strike up a conversation only to ask for help in a time of need or shout a quick, gracious comment in a time of joy.
No, when we truly delight in someone, we pursue their time and give them ours. We study that someone and all of their ways, learning what brings them pleasure. We search out new ways for our lives to reflect the love we have for our someone. This is how we should delight in the LORD.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that it can be difficult to "find time" to sit down and read the word of God and "take time" to pray when I'm running low on sleep, I only have 20 minutes until my 17-month-old wakes up (maybe less than 20 minutes before my newborn is ready to nurse), and last night's dishes are still in the sink, toddler-sized portions of yesterday's meal scattered on the kitchen floor, last-weekend's laundry waiting to be washed, and tonight's supper ready to be cooked. But, when we realize that the time we have is graciously given to us by the Lord, it makes it much easier to prioritize Him above the mess, and suddenly we aren't merely finding time to be with Him, we're consciously seeking time.
Delighting in God and His word is the beginning of building up our homes and marriages for Him. Knowing that it is the wise woman who builds her house, and the foolish woman who tears it down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1), and knowing that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction (Proverbs 1:7), we clearly see that it is through His instruction that God makes us wise. When we daily seek Him and read His word, the Lord pours wisdom into the pool of our hearts until it overflows, and bubbles out through the brooks in our lives, giving life and beauty and peace. When we don't seek the Lord and His word however, the pool of our heart becomes little more than a stagnant puddle of good intentions.
As we read through the Bible, the Lord uses His word to convict and sanctify us in various aspects of our lives. And the beauty that results from this sanctification flows through the brooks, and into the larger stream that is marriage, all the while seeking the ultimate destination: the ocean that is glorifying God.
It can be assumed that nearly all who read this desire to build up their house for God, therefore must delight in God, and seek to become wise through the word of God. As we work to build a thriving marriage may we always remember this crucial principal: to delight in the LORD and strive to bring glory to His name.
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