Wow! It has been quite some time since my last post! I have been thoroughly enjoying time with my sweet babies who are now nine months and two years! I am one busy mama but loving every minute! Although the past several months have been silent on this blog, the Lord has been teaching me so much! So today, assuming that someone will actually read this post, I would like your biblical input on the following:
The last few months my husband and I have been having many discussions and searching the scriptures regarding a woman's role, specifically the young woman. As I've studied, I have learned that I have MUCH room to grow in each and every one of these areas, and I pray the Lord will sanctify me day by day. In no way do I want to come off as superior to any other sister in Christ as I write and ask questions about the things I have learned...If you could ask my husband, he could attest to the fact that I fail daily and am, in fact, no better than any other Christian woman seeking God's truth. Still I'm grateful that the Lord has given me scriptures to search and placed Godly "older women" in my life to admonish me in truth and godliness. So with that said, I'll just jump right in.
In Titus 2:3-5, Paul admonishes the older women to train the younger women in these things: to love their husbands, love their children, to be discreet (or self-controlled), chaste (pure), homemakers ( keepers at home, workers at home- depending on the translation), good (kind), obedient (submissive) to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed (or reviled). The end of verse three says that these are "good things" to teach. And since the words teach and train are used, we can assume that these are not areas in which a woman will naturally succeed, so she must be trained in them, and practice them. Now, I hope that most believers would agree that women should indeed love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure. But it is clear, based on the visible actions of the majority of women in the church that "working at home" and being "submissive to their own husbands" is not taken so seriously, and frankly, often completely ignored, or worse, snubbed because of our own pride.
The first thing I did was a word study on the word "keeper" and found that it means "guard." So a young woman is meant to be, in a sense, a "home guard." I began to wonder: What is a guard? Webster's 1828 dictionary defines it as "A state of caution or vigilance; or the act of observing what passes in order to prevent surprise or attack; care; attention; A man or body of men occupied in preserving a person or place from attack or injury; he or they whose business is to defend, or to prevent attack or surprise."
Which leads me to my first question: Is it possible for a woman to be an effective "home guard" when she spends the majority of her time away from the place and people which she is to be guarding?
Secondly, I found it interesting that women are admonished to be "keepers at home" just before they are admonished to be "submissive to their own husbands." When a woman is out of the home she is often under the headship of someone else' husband, her boss. And in many cases it is plain to see that, if she wants to keep her job, she must, at times, put the requests and "needs" of her boss above those of her own husband. This is not to say that a woman working at home is equal to submitting to her own husband; after all, a woman can easily busy herself at home with activities that do not benefit or submit to her husband at all. But when a woman follows this Titus 2 mandate and is a homemaker, she has the freedom to turn down others requests, set aside her own desires and prioritize the needs of her husband and subsequently, her children.
Another question: When we as women, and as the body of Christ, in general disregard any of these instructions for selfish reasons (up keeping a certain lifestyle, pride, feeling self-worth, to escape from our kids for the day so we can be "better mothers"--I've heard this one many times), are we blaspheming the word of God, or are we at least more prone to blaspheme His word when we step out of his ordained positions and behaviors?
The next scripture I studied was 1 Timothy 5:14 "I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander." Once again, the preferred place of the woman is in the home, giving the adversary no opportunity for slander. I assume this is referring back to verse 13, which speaks of women becoming "idle, wandering about from house to house...gossips, and busybodies." While all of these temptations are available to the woman managing her home, I know first hand that there are few places where gossip is so tempting as the work place, when you are surrounded by carnal women.
Many times we love to say, "But wait, wait, wait! The Proverbs 31 woman was a working woman!" And while I agree that her days were characterized by diligence and hard work, and she did earn money, we can see that her family was her priority. Her husband trusted her, and was likely involved in her business dealings. She provided food and warm clothing for her household and spent many more waking hours working diligently at her home than some of the most motivated of housewives today. Also, it's not clear to me that this description of the Proverbs 31 woman is depicting her daily activities,, but rather a characterization of her life; I'm not convinced that every day she was out purchasing fields, planting vineyards, and selling her goods.
I am not saying that there is no time for a woman to work outside the home, especially if it is needed to provide necessities...It's just that from my studies it seems that the best, safest, most biblical place for a woman with a husband and children to spend the majority of her effort and time, and give her first and best is in the home.
I am just very troubled about how the church as a whole paints a picture of womanhood that is often not biblical. When did the mandate for women to keep their homes become a gray area? If what I have learned is right, then why are homemakers the exception in our church and not working women? Why is bringing up the admonitions of Titus 2:5 considered judgemental even among bible believing Christians? Why do women of the church consider teaching other people's children, being a nurse, a realtor, an administrator a higher calling than managing and guarding home and family? Has feminism so infected the church that the truth is blurred, even in ways we don't see? And why is it so hard to speak up about the truth of a woman's role? I have seen this admonition gracefully presented and it receives terrible offense. It seems we are missing a generation of young women seeking truth, not searching for what fulfills me, or makes me happy, or what society says is best, but straight up biblical truth. I also feel that the generation of older women teaching is missing and it makes me so, incredibly sad. After all, it was by God's word and grace, and the instruction of my mother and three other women (not necessarily "older" but older than me) that shaped my view of biblical womanhood, and who is there teaching the younger wives and mothers the importance and value of their role at home, caring for and nurturing, giving their first and best to their families?
Let's search God's word, ladies, and then draw our conclusions about biblical womanhood.
I would love your biblical input! What have you learned in your quest to honor God as a woman?
Encouraging you to love your husband, children, and to keep the home,
Jessica
4 comments:
Jessica,
Thank you for linking to this post in your comment on our blog, Who Can Stand! I really appreciated reading the fruit of your word study - it is VERY interesting to see the "keeper of the home" in that light. Also you ask some hard questions which it would be good for many to be thinking about. I am so thankful to have a husband who understands these things.
I look forward to keeping my eye on what else you have to say around here!
Stephanie
Very interesting and good what you write. I love it and there's also a lesson in for me.
What I've learned is that its good to support my husband in his duties/job. This is very important during the financial crisis now. He is so precious ... even if we have less work. Christian couples would need to communicate more. That we've forget, when the children were teeners. We were so busy. I as mother and my husband as the one who earned the money.
Communicate, take time for each other. Don't lost each other's hearts.
I'm 22 years stay at home mom (and author). I have learned to love the work in and around my house, by prayer.
I think you have possibly taken this idea from Kelly: "When a woman is out of the home she is often under the headship of someone else' husband, her boss." I have read it on her blog before and I could not relate to it. During my years as a nurse's assistant, I have never ever had a male boss. Female bosses aren't that rare - especially not in social care professions.
livejenny is correct, although yes, women in management are more likely to be in health care or social services. In this age, women own their own businesses and have both men and women report to them. They are also often more than first-line managers that report to a male middle-manager; they could even be a COO or a CEO. There are many women physicians and attorneys today as well, who might have a male physician assistant or paralegal working for them.
I could go on and on, but you get the point. You might not like this, but this the world we live in the year 2013.
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