We are in the thick of training our children to practice these qualities. Big Brother pushes Little Sister, Little Sister screams at Big Brother, Big Brother chooses to disobey Mama, the list goes on. In the middle of the pushing, screaming, and the "No Mama"s, the training is pretty much constant. But many times it's when I'm training on self-control that I wonder where my own is hiding. When I'm teaching on not complaining, it's just after I think to myself, Child, you're driving me crazy! I train on kindness when I'm frustrated that Little Sister is screaming for a toy and snatching it from Big Brother's grasp, on gentleness when I'm storming into the room explaining why we CANNOT KEEP PUSHING HER, on giving a soft answer when my own words are harsh. And, let's face it, each time I sin in these ways, I'm being completely disobedient. Each and every day as I train my children, the Lord is training and sanctifying me.
So why is it so difficult some days? Why do I become weary in doing good? Why are there nights that my head hits the pillow as I thinking: Did I spend more time enjoying my children today or being annoyed by them? Did they enjoy me? And it makes me sad that I even have to wonder.
It's times like those when I need to step back and evaluate my own motives. Do I desire obedient children for my own ease, or for God's glory? Do I want them to stop screaming in anger and pushing so I can just "get something done for once," or because in that anger they are sinning against a holy God? I must admit that at times, my motives are quite self-centered, thus my reactions lack self-control.
One thing that has helped me recently is to ask myself (when the screaming or pushing or "No, Mama" comes)-- What better thing do I have to do right now than this training in this moment? It's a pretty basic question, but it helps me to focus on what is really important. Because really, is there any more profitable work for me to do today than to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, than to have yet another beautiful reason to point them to his grace and mercy, than to show my love for them and the Savior by my self-control, kindness, gentleness, soft answer, and obedience to God's word. The answer is...No. The laundry and dishes will not miss out if I push them aside as I lovingly train my children, but my children will miss out if I push their training aside in favor of cleaning the house.
So I press on in the trenches of child training, re-prioritizing, and purposing, by God's grace, to enjoy my children every day, and I hope you will, too.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9
Jessica
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