God Shapes Me Through Child Training

Kindness, Gentleness, Obedience, Self-Control, Not Complaining or Disputing, Giving a Soft Answer...
We are in the thick of training our children to practice these qualities. Big Brother pushes Little Sister, Little Sister screams at Big Brother, Big Brother chooses to disobey Mama, the list goes on. In the middle of the pushing, screaming, and the "No Mama"s, the training is pretty much constant. But many times it's when I'm training on self-control that I wonder where my own is hiding. When I'm teaching on not complaining, it's just after I think to myself, Child, you're driving me crazy! I train on kindness when I'm frustrated that Little Sister is screaming for a toy and snatching it from Big Brother's grasp, on gentleness when I'm storming into the room explaining why we CANNOT KEEP PUSHING HER, on giving a soft answer when my own words are harsh. And, let's face it, each time I sin in these ways, I'm being completely disobedient. Each and every day as I train my children, the Lord is training  and sanctifying me.
So why is it so difficult some days? Why do I become weary in doing good? Why are there nights that my head hits the pillow as I thinking: Did I spend more time enjoying my children today or being annoyed by them? Did they enjoy me? And it makes me sad that I even have to wonder.
It's times like those when I need to step back and evaluate my own motives. Do I desire obedient children for my own ease, or for God's glory? Do I want them to stop screaming in anger and pushing so I can just "get something done for once," or because in that anger they are sinning against a holy God? I must admit that at times, my motives are quite self-centered, thus my reactions lack self-control.
One thing that has helped me recently is to ask myself (when the screaming or pushing or "No, Mama" comes)-- What better thing do I have to do right now than this training in this moment? It's a pretty basic question, but it helps me to focus on what is really important. Because really, is there any more profitable work for me to do today than to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, than to have yet another beautiful reason to point them to his grace and mercy, than to show my love for them and the Savior by my self-control, kindness, gentleness, soft answer, and obedience to God's word. The answer is...No. The laundry and dishes will not miss out if I push them aside as I lovingly train my children, but my children will miss out if I push their training aside in favor of cleaning the house.
So I press on in the trenches of child training, re-prioritizing, and purposing, by God's grace, to enjoy my children every day, and I hope you will, too.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9

Jessica

I Am A...Guardian

Ditching the Dish and Directing TV in Our Home

In Titus 2:5 Paul admonishes women to be "keepers at home." I have found that the word "keeper" in this passage comes from the Greek word "oikouros." "Oikouros" is a compound word derived from the words "oikos" meaning home, household, family, and "ouros" meaning guard, guardian, watcher. This gives me a fuller understanding of all that it means to be a keeper of the home. I am not only to work at home, being a homemaker; I am also to be my family's guardian, standing as a tightly woven sieve, filtering through all that enters my home.

As a mother, I am with my child (soon to be children) nearly every hour of the day. Since I am a mother to little ones, it is quite simple to guard them from most negative outside influences. I choose where they go, who watches them and when, and I am able to screen what comes into the home. However, one way that negative and unbiblical influences can seep in without notice is through television...yes even those "sweet, harmless" children's shows.

In our home, TV is already a minimal part of our day. And I realize that in many homes the TV becomes little more than a humdrum of background noise. But even then, I believe our children pick up on many negatives that shows (and commercials) have to offer. When sassy, disrespectful tones, boisterous women exposing too much skin, and men playing the part of the fool become part of what is poured into our children's minds and hearts throughout the day, how can we expect these thoughts, words, and actions not to spring forth out of them?
For the past two years our family has used satellite TV. And while there are some clean, educational shows the channels have to offer, it is difficult to constantly sift through them, allowing what is edifying and purging what is not. As my husband and I discussed the use of television in our home, we realized that as our children grow older, it would only become more difficult to monitor the shows and content to which they were being exposed.

I also know my weakness to sit down after lunch and enjoy an hour (or more, I hate to admit) of "A Baby Story" and similar shows. This clearly distracts me from being diligent to complete tasks around the house and robs me of time I could have used more wisely. Along with that is the temptation to be drawn into a show that is anything but biblical and uplifting as I scan through the channels.

Because of these and other reasons, my husband and I decided to do something radical...Well, by today's standards, at least! We decided to get rid of our satellite TV service! Shocking, I know! :) And may I say that I am actually excited! The temptation to waste time in front of the television will basically be removed. Staring at a screen will no longer be considered "spending time together" or "family time." I will be kindly forced to creatively set up ways to keep my children involved while I'm busy about the laundry or cooking, which will be much better for them in the long run. Yes, I am very excited indeed!

We may invest in Netflix or Redbox, or something of the like. This will allow us to more closely monitor what is coming into our home, and thus, our minds. This will also give our children opportunities to practice self-control with regards to what they choose to watch as they grow older. (Which is much more easily done while choosing a movie through these methods rather than stumbling across a show which entices the flesh and then having to resist.) Another tool we plan on taking advantage of is Plugged In Online. On this website, we can look up and teach our children (at older ages) to look up a Christian review of many movies before even renting them.

Hopefully this transition will go smoothly. I should probably prepare myself for some withdrawal symptoms from not seeing "A Baby Story" and possibly some balking from my hubby during the World Series and NFL Playoffs! Overall my husband and I are ready to ditch the Dish and really start directing our TV.

How about you? What are methods you use to guard your family from negative television influences?

Jessica

Who Am I?

In the back of my December 2011 issue of Above Rubies, I saw an advertisement for a Nancy Campbell teaching DVD titled "Who Am I?" The answer to the proposed question fascinated me as I thought of the many responsibilities and blessings that encompass my title of "Stay at Home Mom."

"I am a....

Nurturer

Life-giver

Leader

Generation Builder

Manager of my Home

Feeder

Educator

Teacher

Child Trainer

Discipler

Guardian

Flourishing Vine"

...and may I add...

Help Meet

I love this list! It makes me take a step back and realize how important my role truly is. It also makes me question: Am I doing all that I can to fulfill each of these aspects of motherhood?

Over the next several weeks I will try to post about each of these biblical traits.

New Home and New Baby (Preparation Phase)

Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach today, as the realization of buying our new house is sinking in! We have had a wonderful 6 months living with my family, but my husband and I are so excited to return to a domain of our own and to transform a new house into a delightful home for our growing family!

The home is beautiful and move-in ready, but I love adding a little personal touch, so in just a few short weeks we'll be painting. I love putting soft, bright colors on the walls and watching a room transform! But, this time, I suppose, I'll have to remove myself from the fumes, leave the painting up to my family and friends and just enjoy the end result. These are my doctor's orders and I'm sure our sweet little bundle of joy will be greatful!

And speaking of that sweet little bundle, I'm getting all of my thoughts together for her bedroom. I purchased a lovely cottage chic bedding set, found a small vintage lamp in my in-laws' basement that will be a perfect match, and am gathering many other ideas on Pinterest! There is just something so creatively exhillerating about decorating a room for a daughter. Now, that's not to say I'm not excited about Levi's Big-Boy Room! The airplane theme is in the works. I was inspired by the (somewhat large) model airplane my husband built when he was younger. It's red and white and will be hanging from the ceiling. Levi's new, handed-down twin bed will be painted red for a punch of color and will be complete with vintage airplane sheets that his nana found on sale at a discount store. I am getting so antsy about decorating not only the children's rooms, but the entire house, including creating a haven of delight in our master bedroom! (I feel like my nesting urges are kicking in early!)

I'm overjoyed to be a mommy to a baby girl (Lyla, due May 1) and a baby boy (Levi, who will be about 17 months old at the arrival of his sister)! This pregnancy is passing by very quickly, so I'm already trying to prepare myself for the crazy/sweet first few weeks with a newborn.

This time, since I'll also be caring for Levi, I know I'll have to be very diligent to stay organized. I've created a ten week menu plan, complete with a grocery list that corresponds to each week's menu plan recipes. (I'm hoping to post more on this menu plan later.) Each week I have included a meal to freeze, in hopes that I will have stocked a little over a week's worth of meals by the time Lyla arrives. Also, by contiuing to freeze meals weekly, I'll have a back up for those future days with two littles, that are just too hectic for cooking.

One more thing I'm trying investigate: Ways to keep my 17 month old entertained while nursing my newborn...especially for those first couple of weeks when nursing sessions tend to last longer. I would appreciate ANY tips you have! What has worked in your experience?

Jessica

Lord of All

This week has been a reminder that the God I serve really is Lord of All. I am humbled daily that the King of Kings chooses to bless me...me, an undeserving servant with gifts greater than I could ever imagine.

Wonderful Blessing #1: Three weeks ago, my hubby put our house up for sale by listing it on a website. He is quite the visionary and keeps me ready and waiting for new adventures. Neither one of us thought that it would get much interest, much less an offer. However, yesterday, we officially sold our sweet, red farmhouse. It took a mere three weeks from listing to closing for this process to be completed. What's more, the profit we were blessed to receive will be most helpful in putting a down payment on our home-to-be, wherever that home-to-be may be. We are so excited to see where the Lord takes us from here and what he has in store. I am so abundantly thankful to my amazing husband for following the prompting of the wonderful Counselor, and I pray that we are sensitive to his timing as we search for our next residence.

Wonderful Blessing #2: My parents have graciously opened their home to us for an undetermined amount of time while we house/land hunt. This week we will be moving in, which will be like a trip down memory lane, because we are staying in the room my sister and I used to share. My sister has moved from her room into what used to be the office/homeschool room, and the office moved to what used to be the dining room. Everyone has been so accommodating and hospitable through this transition. We are happy to be together and (Mom and I especially) are excited to be refining our creative homemaking skills together...(sewing projects, experimental bread and cinnamon roll recipes, and the like) We like to think of our soon-to-be full house as an "Incubator for Sanctification." And a full house it will be: My sister, who is commuting to a nearby college, by brothers, who are both homeschooled, my mom (Nana), my dad (Poppy), my loving husband, and our baby boy, who is nine months old...Which brings me to...

Wonderful Blessing #3: Just a few short hours before we closed on our house, I was surprised and overjoyed to find that the Lord is blessing us with another gift, a precious baby, due in late April. The joy that fills my heart is indescribable! I had this wonderful plan to tell my husband in a cute, creative way (which I had to come up with quickly on my own, because the ideas I looked up on the Internet were not so creative.) I left the house and headed for a card store where I bought a Daddy-to-be card. I put it in the envelope and wrote our address on the front, with a made up return address (in handwriting that looked nothing like my own)and headed home to stick it in the mailbox for him to find when he got home. That's when he called me, wondering where I was...Yes, he had beaten me to the house. Shortly after I hung up the phone, I remembered that I had left the pregnancy test in the bathroom! I called back, trying to think of a way to keep him out of the bathroom until I got home. Ring, Ring, "Hi, Honey. Do you have something you want to tell me???" my husband questioned. "Ummmmm, like what?" I replied, trying to hold in the news that was about to burst at the seams. "Honnnneyyyy..." Yep, again I was too late! But all I could do was giggle like a little school girl! Hubby asked, " Are you being serious or are you joking?" I told him I was serious and that there is no way (that I'm aware of)to fake a pregnancy test. I also told him that I had just called to keep him away from the bathroom and away from that pregnancy test. When I arrived at home, I still gave Hubby the card and he gave me a sweet hug and two kisses (one for me and one for the baby) When the surprise of it all had worn off a bit, Hubby told me that it wasn't the pregnancy test that he found. He opened the computer to check an email from the realtor and what popped up but a web page that said "Creative Ways to Tell your Husband You're Pregnant." Oops! I guess this was as creative a way as any...or at least as surprising! Needless to say, I will do a better job of covering my tracks next time! :) But any faint disappointment I may have had from my plan being for naught, was swept away with the elation we are feeling!

So there you have it, three wonderful blessings packed into three wonderful days. A brilliant husband who loves me fully and introduces me to new adventures, a sweet baby boy to love and to train, a gracious family who is a great example of hospitality, and a chance to live out the faith I have in the One who writes my days, not knowing what is written in the next chapter, or even on the next page. I am so grateful to my God for providing, and even going above and beyond what I need. Yes, my God is a magnificent Savior, Redeemer, King of Kings, and Lord of All.

Jessica

Becoming Levi's Mom: My Altered Identity

"Forget being called 'Jessica'; From now on you'll just be Levi's Mom."

"When you have a child you lose your identity."

These are comments women have made to me, and sadly, this attitude about children seems to be the popular one. Somewhere along the road of raising children, mothers no longer see them as a gift, a heritage from the Lord. In light of this, let me address the previous comments, respectively.

"Forget being called 'Jessica'; From now on you'll just be Levi's Mom."

Jessica. I like my name, I do. But these seven letters do not define me. They don't reveal anything about my life or my heart or what I love. I don't swell up with pride when someone calls my name. I do, however, remember my heart filling with joy the first time that someone introduced me as "Joey's wife," and I still feel special when I'm referred to in this way. I'm sure I will feel similarly when someone recognizes me as Levi's Mom. Both of these titles define a part of who I am, my life, my heart, and what I love.

Even God is referred to by His attributes: Almighty, Anointed One, Teacher, Comforter, Bridegroom, Lamb of God, Son of God, Son of Man, Emmanuel, Father. These names add to our understanding of Him, they don't take away a part of who He is.

Maybe a better comment to make would be this: "Forget being called 'Jessica'; Now you get to be known as Levi's Mom."

"When you have a child, you lose your identity."

I disagree. First of all, my identity is found in Christ Jesus. He is the One who chiefly defines who I am. Secondly, by having a child I don't lose my identity at all, it just changes. I am going to be defined by something: my job, where I live, places I spend my time, the people with whom I surround myself, what I do, what I don't do, etc... I personally would rather be defined by my calling to be a wife and mother and everything that comes with it. This is the "job" that God has given me to fulfill. Through it the Lord has blessed me with a home, many things to occupy my time and people to spend time with. It affects what I do and what I don't do. This identity is beautiful because it is the one God has given me.

A better comment to make would be this: "When you have a child, God expands your identity."

Mothers, let's enjoy our children and view them as the gift that they truly are!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

The Heart Revealed

"...for out the the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." -Matthew 12:34

“It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it;

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

"Come here!" I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here”, I said –

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art –

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words –

Keep it out of your voice.”

~Author Unknown

Springtime and New Life

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand." -Psalm 139:13-18

At the precise moment that my heart was yearning to see those beautiful buds on the trees, Cherry Blossom blooms, and all other signs of new life that come to my Midwestern home in the springtime, the Lord placed in me a sign of new life incomparable to any other. On March 23rd I discovered that God had been secretly forming a child in my womb, seeing his (or her) substance, being yet unformed, and fashioning his days, when as yet there were none.

How thankful I am to my God for giving me this gift, this miracle. I pray that this baby is formed into a strong, healthy, newborn babe who will be placed in my arms to nurse and coddle to my heart's content. I also pray as Jeremiah 1:5 says, that even before my child is born, he is sanctified, set apart for a holy purpose. How delighted I am to have this new life growing inside of me, being sustained and nurtured by my own body and by the immeasurable love of my Lord. Marvelous are His works; I will praise His beautiful name!

~Jessica

My Content Heart was Born in the Kitchen

"...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." -Philippians 4:11

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have."
-Hebrews 13:5

"A little that a righteous man has is better than the riches of many wicked." -Psalm 37:16

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." -1 Timothy 6:6

About six months before my husband and I began our life together as man and wife, he began preparing for our future by tearing apart the house he purchased. I mean literally, tearing apart, plaster, lathe, ceilings, floors, everything, down to the studs. All that was left of our future home was a skeleton and, of course, endless possibilities (at least as many as our budget would allow). My wonderful, creative, engineer, husband, reworked the whole layout of our quaint, 1904 farmhouse and opened up the floor plan beautifully! The master bedroom became the living room; the large living room became a bathroom and a second bedroom; the second bedroom became the kitchen, the kitchen became the master bedroom; and the laundry room became the master bathroom/closet. The only room in our whole house that remained in its original location was the dining room, and even it was modified.

Now that the background of our undertaking has been revealed, it may come as no surprise that "Mission Home" is not presently complete. Our house is quite livable, however and is even filled with many amenities that have only been seen as "necessary" in my own naive generation. But there was one aspect of the house, that before the wedding, I thought would not be near completion, and I would terribly long for- a kitchen. You see, I love to cook and I love to be in the kitchen, so knowing that I may not have an oven or a sink or a refrigerator or kitchen cabinets or a microwave for at least a year was somewhat disappointing, actually quite disappointing. No home cooked meals to eat with my hubby? No baking bread? No experimenting with new recipes? No kitchen? But still, I made the decision to be content with what I was given.

Our current kitchen setup


Well, we serve a God who cares for every aspect of our lives, and do you know what He did? He provided. Maybe not in any ways we may have anticipated, but the Lord provided all the same. A month before we were married, my husband attended a cabinet auction and brought home two cabinets (for five dollars a piece) that we were able to set up in the corner of our kitchen. Not long after that, a pastor friend and his wife told us that they were preparing to sell a large refrigerator, two pantry cabinets, and a counter top at a very affordable price. So in went the refrigerator, the pantry, and the counter top. A few weeks after the wedding, we bought (an extremely discounted) brand new, gas stove. It came out of a home my father-in-law had sold to an elderly lady who preferred to cook with an electric stove. This may have been the most exciting addition to our kitchen! Now we had everything except a kitchen sink, so we washed our dishes in the laundry tub that was serving as our bathroom sink until we could afford a "real" bathroom sink. When we did save up to by the "real" sink, we were able to move the laundry tub to the kitchen. Not only did we acquire all of this, but for Christmas, my husband's sisters gave us a microwave. Our kitchen had actually become a kitchen! Everything seemed so complete and I was so satisfied! So imagine my excitement a week ago when a friend of the family gave my husband and I cabinets and counter tops and when my husband's co-worker gave us a real kitchen sink! We were able to use two of the cabinets and the counter top (which had the perfect sized rectangular cutout) to set up our sink!


The new sink and cabinets


Do we have the perfect, Country Living, Better Homes and Gardens kitchen? No. But we do have a stove which allows me to prepare my husband's favorite foods, a refrigerator to store the ingredients and leftovers, counter tops on which to work (and experiment), a wonderful sink where I can clean up my messes, and plenty of space to store all of our dishes! It is perfect for us because it is what God provided! I will be fully satisfied with it because what the Lord has given us has magnified His name and demonstrated His love and power. In His awesome provision, God even made sure to provide the newest extra cabinets, leaving unused space for me to store the baby bottles that I just found out I will be needing in about nine months! Yes, we serve a very knowing, powerful, present, loving God!

~Jessica

Every Wife's First Duty

"That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." -Titus 2:4-5

"In one of his Epistles St. Paul gives the counsel that young wives should be 'workers at home,' signifying that home is the sphere of the wife's duties, and that she is to find her chief work there.

There is widest opportunity in the most fitting service for every woman whose heart God has touched to be a ministering angel to those who need sympathy or help. There are many who are free to serve in public charities, in caring for the poor, for the sick..., for the orphaned and the aged...

But it should be understood that for every wife the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home. Her first and best work should be done there, and till it is well done she has no right to go outside to take up other duties. She is to be a 'worker at home.' She must look upon her home as the one spot on earth for which she alone is responsible and which she must cultivate well for God if she never does anything outside. For her the Father's business is not attending... missionary meetings, and mothers' meetings, ...or even teaching a Sunday-school class, until she has made her own home all that her wisest thought and best skill can make it. There have been wives who in their zeal for Christ's work outside have neglected Christ's work inside their own doors. They have had eyes and hearts for human need and human sorrow in the broad fields lying far out, but neither eye nor heart for the work of love lain about their own feet. The result has been...that while they were winning a place in the hearts of the poor or the sick or the orphan, they were losing their rightful place in the hearts of their own household. Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that He gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there." -JR Miller

After I read this passage in JR Miller's THE FAMILY, I was overwhelmed, to be honest. It caused me to reevaluate myself and my definition of "a keeper at home." You see, being a keeper at home is more than just keeping a good house, as the Message translation would have us believe. Are clean floors and tidy rooms a part of the equation? Of course. But being a keeper of the home is so much more that that. It is serving my husband, promoting peaceful attitudes, making sure that every facet of my family's living is cared for. It is guarding with a tightly woven filter all that enters the door. It is turning my home, in every aspect, into an atmosphere where Christ's love is expressed to the extent that His aroma spills through every crack and crevice of my home.

To accomplish these tasks and be a "keeper at home," I must first and foremost be at home. If God said that my life's work was to create for Him a beautiful painting, would I only work on it in the evenings after I came home from my "real" job, or on the weekends when my schedule was not so busy? Would I place my painting in another's hands, trusting that they could fulfill God's desire for me to complete it? Of course not! I would pour every ounce of my being into that painting. If the skill did not come easily to me, I would study and practice. I would be ever searching the painting for some flaw to correct, some detail to make it all the more beautiful. I would never stop trying to perfect the painting I was making for my King; it would be my life's work.

But God, in His infinite wisdom did not create me to be a painter, He created my to be a keeper at home. I realize that I cannot realistically spend every waking hour within the walls of my house, but I also realize that I must commit the majority (the first and best) of my time, thought, energy, skill and work to my home and the family therein.

Keeping my home is at the core of my being. How could it not be when it is the first work the Lord gives to every wife? If I forsake my duty as a homemaker by committing my first and best to other noble works, I forsake the very path that the Creator has purposefully lain before my feet. If I forsake my duty as a keeper at home, I blaspheme the word of God. May we all strive to give our first and best to the work God has given us to accomplish.

The True Wife Part III

"Every true wife makes her husband's interests her own. While he lives for her, carrying her image in his heart and toiling for her all the days, she thinks only of what will do him good. when burdens press upon him she tries to lighten them by sympathy, by cheer, by the inspiration of love. She enters with zest and enthusiasm into all his plans. She is never a weight to drag him down; she is strength in his heart to help him ever to do nobler and better things."

JR Miller

As a new wife, there are many things I am still learning about my husband. As I mentioned in my first post, my continual goal is to write down things that I know my husband appreciates and try my best to always do those things for him. For instance, I discovered that my husband thoroughly enjoys a cold glass of freshly brewed iced tea. And although I haven't the slightest craving for tea, it is my aim to please my husband by preparing and serving it to his delight. I also learned that my husband feels great satisfaction when we work together on projects, namely projects that take place in the garage. It can be a bit tempting to brush off this desire of his when I know that a multitude of my own projects await me within the walls of our house. But then I remind myself that helping my husband is what I was made to do. If brewing him tea helps meet his needs, then I will brew. If postponing a household task helps meet his needs, then I will postpone. After all, I was created to be his help meet, to help meet his needs.

It is an awesome realization to know that I alone am the woman that God created to be my husbands helper, that He created in me attributes that no other woman can offer my dearest. It is my calling and responsibility to apply these God-given traits to my marriage, thus becoming strength in my husband's heart and helping him ever do nobler and better things. And how blessed I am to have a husband who values my opinions, compliments my strengths, forgives my weaknesses, appreciates my seemingly insignificant tasks, and invites my flawed, inexpert help. What a marvelous man is mine! May I never be a weight to drag him down.

The True Wife: Part II

"The true wife needs to be no mere poet's dream, no artist's picture, and no ethereal lady too fine for use, but a woman healthful, strong, practical, industrious, with a hand for life's common duties, yet crowned with that beauty which a high and noble purpose gives to a soul." -JR Miller

This quote from JR Miller embodies the Proverbs 31 Woman. She is healthful and strong, girding herself with strength and strengthening her arms (v. 17). She is practical, rising while it is yet night(v. 15), clothing her family with scarlet(v. 21). She is industrious, buying a field and planting a vineyard from her profits (v. 16), not letting her lamp go out at night (v. 18). She has a hand for life's common duties, stretching out her hands to the distaff and holding the spindle(v. 19), willingly working with her own hands (v. 13). And she is, of course, crowned with beauty. Not only is she clothed in fine linen and purple (v. 22), but, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her, 'Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.'"

In verse 30 of Proverbs 31, King Lemuel writes, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." While I would be the last woman to say that looking outwardly beautiful for your husband isn't important (for it is very important, indeed), I see clearly that this scripture admonishes women to focus first on those God honoring tasks which supply, protect, and edify her household. It is not merely her beauty that causes a woman to be praised by her children and husband, but her attitude, her spirit, her sacrifice. Every work of a woman should benefit her household and build it up. And even this must not be a self-gradifying act, but one that comes from a pure heart ready and willing to serve the King. It is only when a woman's guiding ambition is to be pleasing to Him, that she is "crowned with that beauty which a high and noble purpose gives to a soul."

The True Wife: Part I

"The true wife clings and leans, but she also helps and inspires. Her husband feels the mighty inspiration of her love in all his life. Toil is easier, burdens are lighter, and battles are less fierce because of the face that waits in the quiet of the home, because of the heart that beats in loving sympathy, because of the voice that speaks its words of cheer and encouragement when the day's work is done." -JR Miller


As a wife it is so important to focus on truly helping and inspiring my husband. Do I truly make his toil easier, his burdens lighter, and his battles less fierce? It is my goal to begin a journal, writing down all the actions I know my husband appreciates. Whether it be getting the mail every day or greeting him at the door with a kiss when he comes home from work, I want to remember all of the seemingly small, but vastly important things for the future and start now habits that will please him forever. By the grace of God, I pray that as the years of my new marriage come to pass, I will become more and more sensitive to my husband's needs and make my home a place of true comfort, peace, joy, and love; a haven of rest for my dearest.

Jessica